I used to be the queen of “I’m fine.”
Even when I was falling apart inside, I’d smile, push through, and make sure everything on the outside looked picture-perfect.
When I went through one of the biggest, and best, decisions of my life (my divorce), I didn’t tell a lot of people for a long time.
Not because I wasn’t confident in the choice… but because I was conditioned to believe that any disruption to the “happy family image” meant failure. I didn’t want to be the one people whispered about. I had grown up around that kind of shame — “Did you hear so-and-so is getting a divorce?” — and internalized the message that any cracks in the surface made you look weak or broken.
So I stayed quiet. I kept smiling. I pretended it was all fine.
And I did the same thing at work.
As a new employee, I never wanted to seem like I didn’t know what I was doing. Even when I was completely unsure, I’d speak with confidence, relay tasks to others, and pray they wouldn’t ask questions, because looking unsure felt like being unsafe.
Like being judged.
Like being exposed.
It took me years to realize: this wasn’t confidence.
This was emotional numbing.
This was survival mode wearing a smile.
Sometimes, "I'm fine", isn't always a lie.
Looking back, I can see now that none of that was really me.
The hiding. The pretending. The rehearsed confidence.
It was a version of me shaped by conditioning, one that believed it wasn’t safe to be real.
And I know I’m not alone.
So many of us have been taught, either directly or subtly, that vulnerability is dangerous. That showing emotion makes you unstable. That admitting you don’t have it all figured out makes you weak.
So we tuck the truth away and wear “I’m fine” like armor.
But here’s the thing:
“I’m fine” isn’t always a lie — sometimes it’s a numbing response.
A default setting. A way to avoid feeling the fear, sadness, grief, or uncertainty underneath.
Because when we’ve been taught that it’s not safe to be seen in our truth, disconnection becomes a survival strategy.
And we start to think things like:
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If I feel too much, I might fall apart.
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If I say I’m struggling, I’ll be judged.
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If I don’t have the answer, I’ll lose respect.
But these thoughts aren’t facts, they’re fragments of old programming.
What once protected us is now keeping us separate from the connection we crave most — connection with ourselves.
The good news?
This gets to change.
When you start noticing the moments where you disconnect or shrink, when you gently check in with what that part of you is trying to protect… you begin the process of healing.
You stop performing your life and start living it.
Not all at once. Not perfectly.
But one truth-telling moment at a time.
How We Begin: The Emotional Check-In
So how do you start feeling safe enough to be real, instead of defaulting to “I’m fine”?
The answer... You check in.
Not with judgment. Not with force. But with compassion.
This simple practice helps you pause in the moment, meet the part of you that’s feeling triggered or shut down, and offer her the safety she didn’t get back then, but the safety you can give her now.
Try This: Your Self Check-In
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Think back to a recent moment when you said “I’m fine”, but didn’t feel that way inside.
Maybe it was a moment of tension, overwhelm, or discomfort. -
Name the emotion you were really feeling under the surface.
(Fear? Sadness? Shame? Exhaustion?) -
Ask yourself:
“When was the first time I remember feeling this way?”
See if you can trace it back. Was it childhood? Adolescence?
That younger part of you still lives in your nervous system, and she’s trying to keep you safe. -
Gently ask her:
“What do you need from me right now to feel safe?”
She might need reassurance. Rest. Permission to speak.
She might just need you to notice her. -
Respond with compassion.
You can even place a hand on your heart and whisper:
“You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”
Why This Matters?
Every time you check in instead of checking out, you’re rewriting your story.
You’re creating a new pattern — one rooted in safety, truth, and self-trust.
The more you do this, the more you’ll start to notice when something feels off.
You’ll catch yourself before the spiral, before the people-pleasing, before the shutdown.
You’ll start to recognize when you’re slipping out of alignment, not as a failure, but as feedback.
And that’s when real change begins.
These check-ins don’t have to be big or dramatic.
You can keep them private. You can whisper them to yourself in the car, in the bathroom, at your desk.
No one has to know.
But once you experience the shift… once you realize how powerful this small practice really is…
you might find yourself wanting to share it with everyone.
Because healing is contagious.
And when you return to your truth, you give others permission to do the same.
From Me to You
You don’t have to keep holding it all together.
You don’t have to pretend you’re fine when you’re really craving rest, support, or simply a moment to breathe.
You’re allowed to be honest.
You’re allowed to outgrow the patterns that once protected you.
And you’re allowed to choose a different way. One that actually honors you.
That’s exactly what we’ll be doing inside my upcoming course,
Beyond Numbing: From Survival to Self-Love Reset.
This isn’t a quick fix or another “just think positive” solution.
It’s a deeply guided journey back to your truth —
through nervous system healing, emotional awareness, and radical self-love.
If you’re ready to start feeling again (without the overwhelm),
If you want to understand your patterns instead of being run by them,
If you’re craving safety, softness, and soul-aligned growth…
I invite you to join the priority list now.
You’ll be the first to know when doors open and you’ll get access to exclusive early bird bonuses.
👉 Join the Priority List Here
You’re not too much. You’re not too far gone.
And you don’t have to go it alone.
With so much love,
Amie
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